Sisterhood of Mothers

This. This video makes my life. If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it and then continue to this blog post.

When I was about 3 months pregnant I started researching how to be a good mom. It's not like I put that exact phrase into the Google search bar, but I wanted to get easy answers on how certain things should be done. Should I use cloth diapers? If I do, does it mean I have to use cloth wipes too because that sounds gross. Also will the people at the cloth diaper store be able to smell if my kid is wearing a disposable diaper and kick me out? What about feeding? Well of course I will breastfeed! My boobs are good sized so I'm sure it will work perfectly. Also my mom was successful with it so it runs in my blood. I will breastfeed, but with a cover in public or maybe not because I'm a woman hear me roar and boobs are food and I don't see you covering up your cheeseburger buddy. And then there is what toys to get and where to buy clothes. Should they be organic? She will only have organic clothes touch her skin obviously and none of it will be pink because this website says that pink is sexist. 

Everywhere I looked, there was someone else telling me that their way was the best way and that all the other ways were complete foolishness. It was like if you didn't do it their way, you were essentially being okay with putting your baby in complete and utter anger and possibly killing them slowly with some sort of strange poison that was inside of a disposable diaper or hiding inside of that namebrand baby food jar. And then there was the birthing process to consider is well. If I had an epidural didn't really count is labor? If I didn't do it in a bath was Ireally a good mom? What if I ended up, gasp, having a c-section and not even pushing at all?what I be able to sit around with the girls and complain about the woes of womanhood and having to have a baby and push them out of parts unknown?

I hadn't even had the baby yet, or even hit the halfway point, and I was already feeling judged for decisions that I was going to make or had already made. Why do we do this to each other? Are he decisions other mothers are making about how to feed their babies or what to dress them in life threatening enough that we feel we must rescue them from their horrible situation by guilt slapping their mothers? 

Here's the truth people. Every mother, and father for that matter, worries they aren't doing it right. What if I'm not doing enough? What if my baby is not getting all they deserve? What if I'm a bad mom? It's the hardest part of the job, never really being confident that you are succeeding in this epicly important task. 

Can you imagine if you were a child drawing a picture with crayons and wondering if you did a good job and everyone you asked told you how they would have done it differently? You should have used colored pencils. You should have tried harder to stay in the lines. You used dollar store paper so you obviously don't care about your picture. It would crush the child, make them feel inadequate and worthless. Here's the thing, moms are the exact same way a lot of the time. Especially new moms. We want to feel like we are maybe not totally screwing up our job. That we are good, worthy of praise, and that our baby loves us no matter what. 

You, right there, breastfeeding your baby, you are awesome. You, with the bottle full of formula, you rock. Cloth diapers, disposables, puréed food, baby led weaning, strollers, carriers, stay at home moms, working mamas, however you do it, whoever you are, just know that you are doing an amazing job and that your sweet baby is lucky to have you worrying about them.